At the Desk of the Intern

Today as I waded through the piles of digital responses to the sex survey that is an annual staple of the alternative weekly where I currently intern, it occurred to me that I know far too much about the sex lives of our readership than one person should have to carry around alone. I, of course, share this burden with other interns and select members of the staff, but I personally was the one responsible for reading through the infinite answers for the fill-in-the-blank portion of the survey. I would like to share some of the most memorable answers.

To preface: if you're not in Portland you might not know that our gay mayor is currently being investigated for his affair, about which he denied having, with a a hot, underage intern (whether they actually had "sex" while he was underage is controversial). They apparently got it on in the second floor bathroom of city hall. This is the backdrop for this year's survey, which highly features questions on ethics and public sex.

So to return to the survey: turns out quite a large number of people believe that the sexiest thing they did in 2008 was get married. Gross. The third most popular sexual fantasy, following threesomes and anal sex, was either being impregnated or doing the impregnation. Double gross. Most people think they are lame because they don't have public sex often enough and those who do, like to do it in very public places. I am now afraid of most parks in town and the bathrooms at the art museum. Triple gross. On another note, most people think that it's acceptable to sleep with people 20 years within your age range, which I thought was rather generous and possibly quadruple gross. Last, but not least, the sexual fantasy of joining the mile high club so cliche. It's a fantasy, you can choose to do anything! Use your imagination!