SUMMER!

Because I lead such a full and busy life of luxury it seems that I have been neglecting this blog. I blame it on summer: the sun, the tan, the swimming, the brightly colored attire and the endless underboob sweating.

Here are some highlights that you might consider as suggestions for how to improve the quality of your summer:


1) Live ins are key. They have lots of free time, are willing to drink beer at nearly all times and can even be taken on runs with you when you are feeling a momentary lapse and want to act healthy.






2) Fruits. Pick them, freeze them, hug them in your tongue,
try to make ice cream with them and fail miserably, whatever
you like. They taste more refreshing than cheese.





3) I have to say that getting good and gussied up and then having way more fun at home than while sweating your ass off at a club where the music is too loud and everybody smells like BO is kind of a highlight. Though the attempts to leave the house are also noble and always seem really exciting. Until something happens like Michael Jackson dies and then everybody want so to go the same dance party you were wanted to so you can't get in but you aren't even that disappointed because it's a bunch of lame-looking straights.




4) Meat. Preferably grilled, preferably outdoors, preferably made into a sculpture that may or not be suggestive. You know, meat is quite malleable, good for sculpting.






5) Cold water swimming, though often intimidating, is refreshing and I'm told it is good for circulation. Plus it allows you to enjoy the tanning stage so much more thoroughly while still giving the impression that you are a courageous lion, or seal, depending on who you are.

Two Stupid Dogs

There is really no good reason for why I used to so enjoy this cartoon, but the fat dog is cute, the girl has an obnoxious voice and who doesn't like cheesecake?

Animal Transportation Poll

There seemed to be two camps in the last poll: those who wanted to be pulled in a red wagon by cats and those who wanted an orangutan piggyback ride. I think it's obvious in which camp I firmly remain. And this is just a prime example of why I am in awe of the orangutan:


Sumo Wrestler VS Female Orangutan - The best video clips are right here

In Celebration of Father's Day

I went on JibJab and created this video that stars my family! It's pretty hilarious.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Retraction

I am at fault. In a late March post that infuriated my sister, I spoke badly of Dan Deacon and wearing old man shoes without socks. I will admit that after listening to Bromst while writing my boring education articles, I have found it quite soothing and very interesting to listen to. Also, now that it's warm here, I find myself not only wearing slip-ons without socks, but also my unfortunate loafers, which I bought two years ago at Shoe Pavilion with the false belief that 1) they could be worn to work and 2) I would go to work. So I publicly take back my comments and I feel very happy that my sister has said that I'm cool.

Metric

Last Friday morning as I was puttering around the house, lamenting the fact that I had not bought Metric tickets before they sold out, I happened across the Mercury music blog and found that they were offering two tickets. By 11am you had to write a blog post comment on why you wanted to go. I read the responses that were currently there, and they mostly mentioned friends being in town etc. Nothing exciting. So at 10:57am I posted a comment about all the things I used to do while listening to Metric and how much I needed that level of greatness back in my life. Needless to say, I won, so Sam and I set out to see the show!!

It was rather packed, which generally leads to me watching a bunch of backs and elbows, but I did manage to score a spot where I could look between two peoples' heads. But anyway, it was exciting. Their new songs have a gentleness that persists despite quick, steady beats and heavy guitars. Emily Haines has that kind of sweet voice that you want to hear all fucked up and rough around the edges, and she delivers it. She yelled, got sweaty, chatted and danced around. I also enjoyed the lighting: harsh white, then shadowy blue, then spirally. My only complaint is that the people around us didn't dance enough. Losers.

Judge the Cut-offs

Who doesn't love judging? I know I love it. Please have a look at these photos and judge my new cut-offs. There are many things to consider: tightness, butt-shaping, length, coolness, character, style, matchability etc. Then go to the poll and choose some options. You can also judge my photo companion if you like, but that's really an entirely separate poll. Photos by noted fashion photographer, the sexy Kim Meinert.








Okay fine, some different settings and outfits: